i guess my journey started a long time ago when I tried to convince myself that I could be a Christian man but still cuss. I’ve had a mouth like a sailor most of my life, surprisingly I’ve never seen beat up although I have deserved it. I’m not a fighter and I never have been. I hate physical fights of any kind but I do enjoy watching wrestling, figure that one from out for me.
After my divorce when I was 30, we will use that number since I like even numbers. I was under the assumption that of course I’ll marry again. I felt that need for validation even way back then. If I have a girlfriend or wife then at least someone likes me. I had a lot of weird assumptions as you will come to know. I was baptized on my birthday by my friend T.J.it was the first time doing a baptism for bot of us. T.J. would perform it and I’d be the one getting dunked.
I had just started working at Centra! Market in Austin, TX, a job I should of kept but I decided to chase the money instead working overtime at Diamond Shamrock. That job was pretty easy and I must of done a good job since my manager asked to become the store’s new assistant manager. I turned down that job offer too. As you can probably guess I didn’t know what I was trying to do with my llife. I just knew it wanted a girlfriend and
money, lots of money. I figured finding a girlfriend would be the easy part since I had many female friends so I it was just a matter of choosing which one.
I also started going back to church which I really enjoyed. I found a good one that I liked, Gateway. Church. They had great music and the first time I went with T.J. and his then girlfriend Renee the band was playing Stairway to Heaven. This wasn’t like any church I had been too. We sat don and listen to the message from Ted. He was a younger guy like me and most important he was funny. Making me laugh plays a huge role in my life. It always has been, I even found Rush Limbaugh funny. What was I thinking? At the end of the service, we were all invited next week when the topic would be on divorce. I just happened to be going through a divorce so I thought it might be a good idea to go. My divorce was going along just fine. My exams I didn’t hate each
other, we just had our
Own separate ways of thinking and it turns out we really now
really have a lot in common. When her and I separated I didn’t deal with my feelings, I was excited I could start dating other women again .
I wasn’t very picky and I went on a lot of dates, just about anyone who said yes. I’m not a very attractive man, but I found dating easy. I was using a dating website and all I had to do was pay $20 a month and send emails to a lot of different women. What I failed to.see at
this time was I was using women to fill the void in my life from my divorce. I even volunteered at our local theater to work on their musical, Beehive. I didn’t get paid very much but working as on the show helped me fill the down time in my life when I wasn’t at work at the Credit
Union. That is where I met T.J. who has a pretty big part in this story.. Anyway, I’m getting off course, I worked on Beehive on Thursday,, Friday, and Saturday nights. Then we had a after show on Sundays. That didn’t leave much time for church, so I stopped going. That was a very big mistake I’d
later come to find.
I was working part time at Diamond Shamrock and full time at Central Market after the play Beehive ended. I was working between 55 to 60 hours a week and it started being an excellent issueq. I’d work at Diamond Same ockin the mornings and at Central Market in the evening. That’s a lot of work, but I didn’t have time to do deal switch my life divorce.
When it was finally Sunday to go to church, I would go to Gateway and listen about divorce. I said to myself quietly I wasn’t going to cry or show any emotion.